2011/02/14

Changing Me

Frustrated, I open the door for the third time, bracing against the screams which immediately cease with a gulp and a whimper when I enter the room. I pick him up this time, instead of laying him down again, because that didn’t seem to work the first two times. I carry him to the living room, dim the lights and sit down in the rocking recliner.

He lies still on my chest, calm now. He turns his head up to look at me, eyes dark in the evening light. I wonder what he’s thinking, just laying there looking at me. Then I wonder why I was so frustrated and reprimand myself for my short temper again. Why should I get so flustered just because a tiny being wants a little bit of comfort? He lays a warm hand on my neck, still gazing up at me. I think about the impression I want to leave my children with when they grow up. I don’t want to be angry mom, short-tempered mom, exasperated mom. I want to be patient and kind, just the traits I wish for my children to have.

God is using my children to teach me. He didn’t bless me with children just so that I could help them grow. He gave them to me to change my heart as well. Learning humility. Patience. Selflessness. And, in wondering how to go about this monumental task of raising God-loving children, my spirit is challenged too.

Lord, help me as I learn and grow, as I help them learn and grow! Equip me with the right tools to guide and teach your children.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well said.
I, too, had a snuggly baby in the wee hours of the morning. Isn't it great that a simple hug can calm them right down and make everything okay again.
Patience. A much better response. You may be more tired in the morning for being up during the night but some day they will be all grown up...
Barbara

Jenn @ Beautiful Calling said...

"God is using my children to teach me. He didn’t bless me with children just so that I could help them grow. He gave them to me to change my heart as well."

Oh, what a timely reminder. Thank you!