Bug in Mouth
Early this morning, (like 1:30 early), I had to attend to some wailing, and, after solving the problem grabbed my water glass from the counter for a swig. Being dark as it usually is at 1:30 in the morning, I didn't notice Mr. Ear Wig taking a dip in my glass and soon felt six tiny legs scrambling for a foothold on the tip of my tongue. Spewing everything back into the glass, I shuddered as I slammed it down and ran into the bathroom, immediately dousing my mouth with Listerine. I probably didn't need that, but it made me feel better. Sorry Mr. Wig, for subsequently terminating your life. You sure look weird with your head that bites and your butt that pinches. There's just too many of you invading my home lately. You eat my hostas during the night, but I don't mind that too much. I know you won't crawl into my ear and burrow into my brain like a childhood friend told me (that's why people gave you the name, although the tale is untrue.) You're not allowed in my house, though, and like all insects that find their way in, you are immediately Dealt With.